Expressions of Love and Affection

in Dating Relationships

The following questions were asked of over 400 high school students over a period of six years.  They ranged in age from 14-18 and included both guys and girls. These are the various answers.

What does a kiss mean to you?

The answers ranged from  Nothing at all to sacred, really in love, committed, and

saved for someone very special.                   

What are you expressing when you kiss someone?

These answers again ranged from Nothing to giving away a piece of my heart, that I love and will take care of the person, I want to go further, and just for fun.

What means more-----a kiss on the cheek, kiss on the lips, or a deep kiss?

These were the responses of 400 students.

Deep kiss   7%

Kiss on the Lips     87%

Kiss on the Cheek 6%

What does each type of kiss mean to you?

Cheek– anything from nothing to respect, sweet, I like you, I don’t want to go too fast, really cares and not after sex, you’ll love and care for me tenderly

Lips– anything from nothing to /attraction, love, passion, they care,/getting ready to go deeper, wants a physical relationship, romantic, something to remember, commitment, likes me, but really after sex.

Deep– anything from nothing to really loves me, fun, want to go further, deep feelings, strong spur of the moment feelings, commitment, lust, I don’t love you, I just want sex

How would the relationship be different if it did not involve sex at all?

Answers ranged from Better relationships because sex complicates things, less pressure, more pure, more like a friendship– friends just having fun together, dumb and pointless, to things like—would probably do more things like movies, sports, and socializing with friends, it would force you to get to know the person and respect the person

People would not be as emotional when they broke up                               

there would be more communication          less fighting, no fear of pregnancy                            

What would be the benefits of that type of relationship?

Again responses ranged from No benefits at all to   Wouldn’t have to worry about taking it too far, diseases, or pregnancy. Wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable all the time You would save yourself completely for marriage   No jealousy, pressure, strong attachments, fear  More talking than kissing/sex  You would know the person wasn’t just in it for sex, that the person really loves you              Wouldn’t be so nervous all the time

Wouldn’t do anything you’ll regret later  You wouldn’t be taken advantage of or used

Wouldn’t be touched in a way you don’t want to be   Trust develops   Deeper commitment

These are the common responses that several classes gave to the same questions.  The point is that not everyone is feeling or expressing the same feeling when they kiss.  What you may think is love, the other person may think is just for fun.  What you think is just for fun, the other person may think you’re committing your entire heart for a lifetime.  People can get hurt when this happens.  Some of you thought that the deeper the kiss, the deeper the feelings, and that just isn’t so.  Also, remember, some people said that kissing meant nothing to them at all.  Don’t give away your heart to someone that just tells you what you want to hear and doesn’t mean any of it. This is just how different people are when it comes to what they are expressing with a kiss, you can make the connection that what people are expressing with sexual activity can be just at misinterpreted by the other person.

                Some of them thought that a relationship would be boring without sex, but all of them recognized the benefits to relationships that do not revolve around sex.  

One Time Life Time Legacy © 2006

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