When there are no boundaries for sex at all, it leads to sex as just a form of recreation.  There is no need for emotion, no need to pretend to care, no need to even like or dislike the qualities in each other. This isn’t a relationship; it doesn’t require a standard of behavior.  There is no need to guess what the connection means because it means nothing.  The eyes don’t even look at each other at all; the eyes are just looking for who’s next.  If people are in the habit now of having sex without meaning, they won’t be able to bring meaning to it later when they do want it to mean something.  Even if you happen to marry one of these casual partners, the sacredness and value of making love has been diminished over the years.  If you or the one you love has been participating in  casual, recreational sex for several years, do you think you will find people trustworthy in your future?  Do you think you’ll trust anyone?  You will probably have become very cynical by then.  You may not have any dignity or self-respect by then.  There’s no tape in recreational sexual activity, it’s not even called a relationship.  No tape, but a lot of band-aids because even though you think it’s for fun, there’s a lot of pain and heartache in the long run in this lifestyle.                                                                          

 Now, don’t get angry and say all guys want is sex when girls have played a part in creating this problem. When all a girl gives a guy is sex without giving or asking for respect or commitment, she has participated in the problem.  Granted, young girls are more vulnerable than young guys and there’s a simple reason for that.  Girls play at sex when all they want is love, and guys play at love when all they want is sex.  Neither is being honest with the other, yet it seems that guys get what they wanted and girls get the broken hearts.   Not all girls and guys fit that pattern, but some do and both can and should start calling for a higher standard in their relationships.  Think about it–the girls and guys you know that are your age right now will become the spouses available for marriage 10 years from now.  How many of your peers do you

think will make good spouses someday? People don’t just wake up at the age of 25 and automatically become mature, rational, considerate, and responsible adults.  Unless you are working towards growing up all during your teen years, the day you turn 25 will be just another day. You’ll wake up older, and maybe bitter because of all the shallow relationships you’ve been in.  You may find yourself angry with guys or girls in general because they have caused you so much pain, yet you forget that you volunteered for that pain.

Know what qualities you want in a spouse and don’t settle for anything less.   Many people accept and tolerate unhealthy behaviors when they are involved sexually because they misread all the emotions they feels.  They hope it means love, but most often it doesn’t.   Some people will drift into a marriage based on all those emotions just hoping that it will all work out. They overlook all the warning signs.      

      So that’s how sex outside of marriage contributes to the high divorce rate. It’s what can prevent people from evaluating their relationships with a clear head before marriage.  As much as we hope and pray, most people don’t change much after they get married, what you’ve seen and fought about during dating usually escalates during the marriage.